There is beauty in going with the flow
There are times to bend so you don't break
There are moments to open up and moments to fold within
There is growth in your discomfort
There is breath to move you from pain to pleasure
There is healing when music merges with movement
There is strength in the surrender and peace in the stillness
Don't worry. It's not what you think. Allow me to explain. LSD stands for long, slow and deep. I'm used to moving at a fast pace so I knew it would be a challenge for me to slow down during a recent slow flow yoga class. It didn't take long for me to realize I enjoyed a slower pace. My breath slowed down and became more robust. The chatter in my mind began to clear. I closed my eyes and got deeper into my senses. What would feel good to me? I started swaying my hips. SO MUCH BETTER! Still long, still slow, still deep but mine. My movements now had a flow that wasn't there previously. I was able to get deeper into each posture. I used the framework the instructor provided yet individualized it so it felt good to me. I no longer struggled to hold the pose. I started to connect to my heart. It now went beyond the physical practice of yoga to the spiritual.
It's at this time, I had an epiphany about the O-MY Yoga classes I teach. I realized how much I personally want an opportunity to slow down. It's one of the reasons I created O-MY Yoga in the first place. I wanted to create a space to slow down and feel sensual. Yet, I was putting pressure on myself to include more cardio in class thinking that it would then appeal to more people. I realized that the value of O-MY Yoga lies in its long, slow and deep qualities. It's intuitively what I wanted to create all along yet I wasn't listening to my intuition. Big mistake! Listen to your intuition. Follow your heart. Your spirit speaks to you in these whispers. It took slowing down and connecting to spirit for me to have a break through in being a more authentic and impactful teacher, coach and creator.
How often do we do this in life? We rush through our day to day responsibilities without fully being in the moment. How often do we ignore our intuition because the static in our mind drowns out the whispers of your soul? How often do we wait for someone else's permission to fully enjoy an experience in our own way? Slow down and notice. How do I feel? Give yourself permission to answer without judgement and then have the courage to act on that answer. If it doesn't feel good then you need to change it. Small adjustments can make a big difference in how filled up we get from our daily experiences.
Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that slowing down can also have an immensely positive impact on your sex life. Imagine the "epiphanies" you could have if you took the time to connect with your partner LONG, SLOW, and DEEP. Connecting to breath. Finding a rhythm and a flow that lends itself to going deeper physically and emotionally. I'll leave you with that lovers. ;)
Why does bringing yourself pleasure seem to be so difficult for many women? We rush through our days caring for others and fulfilling our responsibilities until we have no energy for our own enjoyment. Sound familiar?
I see it happen every day with my friends, women who come to my fitness classes, my life coaching clients and if I'm not careful it happens to me. We neglect our own needs and give in to the daily grind of life. We need to start prioritizing a different and more pleasurable grind. Sexual pleasure needs to be a priority!
Self pleasure seems to be a lost art. I'd like to change that with a simple and effective three step process to owning your own pleasure.
Step 1 - Know Specifically What Brings You Pleasure
We all need to slow down and tune in to exactly what brings us pleasure. This may sound obvious but many women never get this far in the process. Discovering what turns you on is a crucial first step to pleasuring one's self. In order to know what turns you on, you need to experience a variety of sexual activity. Be careful! Shame may creep in here but don't let it. You are an adult woman with needs and its okay to satisfy them. Experiment alone or with a trusted partner. What puts you in the mood? What rhythm and pace brings about bliss? When do you feel the most connected to your partner? The list of variables goes on and on but you get the picture.
Step 2 - Communicate Your Desires
Once you've figured out what it is you like, you now need to communicate those preferences to your partner. Men are not mind readers. How do you tell someone you're feeling frisky? How do you tell him where you like to be touched? How do you slow him down or speed him up so for optimal satisfaction?
Never underestimate the power of body language. Moving a hand here or there can get your point across perfectly. Another option is the one (or two) word whisper. Seductively whispering a specific directive is a gentle and effective way to get what you want without bruising any egos. Men, good men, want to please you. They don't mind a little direction if it will bring you pleasure. Witnessing a woman enjoy herself while making love is a huge turn on for men. Positive reinforcement is another effective tool in getting more of what you want. Be sure to point out what your partner is doing that pleases you. Everyone likes to feel appreciated.
Step 3 - Prioritize Pleasure
I often hear women express guilt for prioritizing their own happiness especially when it comes to sex. You need to prioritize time for your sensuality or it will wither away. Sacrificing your sex life for the day to day responsibilities of work, raising children and household chores may seem noble but you're really doing yourself, and those you care about, a disservice by not taking care of your own needs. There is an incredible amount of energy and vitality that comes from being in touch with your sexy side. This vitality will benefit all aspects of your life. In other words, put "Orgasmic Bliss" on your calendar immediately!
The Art of Self Pleasure can be applied to other areas of your life as well. Review the 3 step process and apply it to your career, your parenting or your health. Similar principles apply. It's an art to be in touch with what makes our mind, body and spirit sing and a fine art to be assertive enough to fulfill those needs. Be the artist of your world and begin creating a life you love.
I'm here to help if needed. I have a variety of life coaching options available as well as an upcoming sexy and soulful retreat in Arizona called "The Sensual Woman Retreat". Feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.
"Happiness is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it."
I would NEVER fake an orgasm! It would be completely pointless for all parties involved. To pretend to experience pleasure in the bedroom has always seemed absurd to me.
Yet, I have pretended to be happy in other situations. Why?
I've faked happiness to avoid hurting others. I've faked happiness because I thought I 'should be' happy with a given circumstance. I've faked happiness because I desperately wanted to feel happy even though I was not. I've faked happiness because it seemed easier than admitting to myself that I wasn't. Admitting unhappiness means having a responsibility to change and that can be daunting.
The older I get the easier it is for me to admit when I'm not happy without judging the feeling or why I feel it. It has become easier because the price you pay for faking it is too great...anxiety, depression, physical ailments, regret and missed opportunity to name a few. Stifling your true feelings is costly.
I have to remind myself that feelings are valuable tools that exist to help us. Feelings help us navigate what works for us and what does not work for us. Feelings, even uncomfortable ones, are our ally not our enemy.
Are you faking your happiness? It's time to get honest about your feelings. There is no need to fake your happiness and for pleasure's sake, please don't fake your orgasms! As always, I'm hear to help you create a life you love in and out of the bedroom. Message me at firstname.lastname@example.org for a free coaching consultation.
In health and happiness,
As some of you know, I'm raising two sweet and spicy daughters. I had the pleasure of attending their conferences this week and it reminded me how important it is to walk through this world with confidence. There was a specific situation with one of my daughters that inspired me to write. The things I write about I want for both my girls but I also want these things for myself and for my clients.
What I want for my daughter(s)...
I want her to know her own worth and understand that true beauty comes from within
I want her to feed her mind and then be brave enough to speak it freely
I want her to recognize her own strength and use it wisely to overcome life's inevitable struggles
I want her to be kind, responsible, and respectful yet
never apologize for how she feels or why she feels it
I want her to shine her light bright and step out of the shadows that cast doubt
I want her to live with integrity, passion, and purpose as she continues to fulfill her destiny