Let's talk about ta-tas shall we? The other day my daughter looked over at me, not so subtly starring at my chest, and said disappointingly "Mom, your boobs aren't very big." Thanks for noticing honey.   I joked that I owe it all to her and her sister who literally sucked the life out of them while breastfeeding.  You're welcome very much! Insert offended eye roll.

We laughed and moved on.

Time goes by and this conversation with my daughter enters my mind.  I realized that I missed a teachable moment.  I missed an opportunity to talk about body image with my observant and impressionable daughter.  I needed to revisit our conversation.   I wanted her to know that despite not being as perky as they use to be, I love my boobs. I'm honored I was able to nourish my babies with breast milk.  I'm grateful that I'm healthy and breast cancer free.  I'm proud that I haven't succumbed to societal pressure to 'enhance' them.  

My boobs are sensational (pun intended)!

I have many friends who have decided to surgically alter the size of their chest, some for health reasons but most for vanity.  I place no judgement upon those women who each have a unique set of circumstances surrounding their decision.  I fully support a woman's right to choose what she does with her own body; however, it's disturbing to me how often women are dissatisfied with how they look. Women go to great lengths to attain some arbitrary standard of beauty at the expense of their health, their finances and their sanity. 

Listen, I get it.  I feel the pressure to pursue this illusive perfection too.   But ladies we are so much more than our looks.  Certainly much more than our bra size.  Who decided what breast size was the most attractive anyway. F that! I don't see men lining up for penile implants to attain some ideal penis size. Most men live with what they were given and work it to the best of their ability.

I digress. 

The point is, embrace your beauty and teach your children to do the same. I try to model a healthy body image for my daughters and for myself.  I want my girls to appreciate every inch of their divinely beautiful bodies. I want them to feel healthy, strong and vibrant in whatever form their body takes.  I want the same for you.  

If you are struggling with your body image and/or self-esteem, please send me a message at [email protected].  I'd be honored to work with you.  Make this the day you begin to acknowledge your own beauty, inside and out.

In health and happiness,
Michele

Valentine's Day is quickly approaching.  It seems this day of love has been reduced to sending the obligatory card and thoughtless gift.  I see people searching through racks of generic cards and scarfing up artificially flavored chocolates every where I go.  I want to grab them by the hand and show them another way, a better way, to romance their lover.  Come...I'll guide you through some creative ways to spice up your Valentine's Day using each of the 5 love languages.

The 5 Love Languages, refer to Dr. Gary Chapman's theory that there are 5 distinct and unique ways we prefer to give and receive love.  They include: words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch, and quality time.  The idea is to understand and communicate your, and your partners, preferred way of receiving love.  Having this knowledge will allow you to better meet each other's needs. To discover your love language go to www.5lovelanguages.com. 


1. Woo with words! Ditch the generic card and instead put pen to paper.  Taking the time to write a handwritten love letter is one of the most romantic gestures I can think of.  All you need to do is simply and sincerely put your feelings into words.  It's such a personal and meaningful way to connect.  You could hand deliver your letter or you may even want to mail it.  When is the last time you opened your mailbox to find something you actually wanted to open? Words of affirmation...priceless!

2. Shop till you Drop!  You may already use Valentine's Day as an excuse to spice up your lingerie collection but have you ever thought of inviting your Valentine to shop with you?  You might think shopping is the last thing your man wants to do but if done properly it will be his pleasure.  I suggest sneaking into the dressing room together (shhh...don't tell Victoria Secret).  Remember, most men are visually stimulated so give him a little fashion show and let him select the outfit that lights his fire. Receiving gifts as foreplay...yes please!

3.  Take a seat!  Learn the art of chair dancing and give your partner a gift that is far sweeter than chocolate.  This is what I commonly hear from women BEFORE they take my chair dancing workshop..."I'm not sexy enough." (everyone has a sexy side), "I can't dance." (there's not much dancing in chair dancing), "I'm too embarrassed." (YOLO), "He would have a heart attack." (and die happy).  Here is what I hear from women AFTER they take my chair dancing workshop..."That was SO much fun!", "I feel sexy.", "I feel empowered.".  My personal favorite is "It started out as a gift for him but became a gift for me too.".  Acts of Service that are mutually beneficial...score!

4. Order Desert to go! If dinner is your go to for date night then you will appreciate this tip.  Let me paint the scene: you order dinner, drinks and desert at a fancy restaurant only to find yourself too stuffed and sleepy for the "main course".  On Valentine's Day, allow me to suggest splitting an entree and getting desert (with extra whipped cream) to go.  Bring your sweetie home and turn your bedroom into the kitchen, your partner into your plate, and your mouth into...well, you get the picture. Physical touch goes gourmet...YUM!

5. Read in bed!  Sound boring? There is nothing boring about climbing into bed with a juicy book (a la Fifty Shades of Grey).  Take turns reading aloud to each other.  It could become a nightly ritual that takes you well beyond Valentine's Day. Quality time...sweet dreams!

I'd love to hear how you put these tantalizing tips to use this Valentine's Day.  Feel free to share your story by commenting below or find me on....
www.facebook.com/MY-Inspired-Life
www.instagram.com/myinspired
www.twitter.com/myinspiredtweet 

Lots of Love, 
Michele Young 

One of my goals as a life coach is to help people in a holistic way.  I want to help my clients realize their potential in all aspects of their life, including their sex life.  Let's be honest, sex is important. We all crave good...no, great...no, MIND BLOWING sex. True?  Read on to learn three unexpected ways you can improve the quality of your sex life! 

* EXERCISE!  I imagine you've heard the benefits of exercise a million times so I won't bore you with talk about the feel good power of endorphins or the enhanced body image that come with regular exercise.  Instead, I want to share with you a secret.  whispering...Choosing exercise that activates your hips will dramatically improve your sex life.  I teach Zumba and BUTI Yoga both of which are filled to the brim with hip movement.  People frequently tell me how sexy they feel after taking one of my classes.  Part of the reason has to do with the amount of hip movement in both Zumba and BUTI.  Hip movement stimulates the sacral chakra bringing energy to that part of your body.  It releases pent up tension and stagnate energy.  Repetitive hip movement also enhances rhythm. Rhythm through the hips is crucial for quality sex because rhythm is a major factor in bringing about orgasm.  The big "O"...elusive for some.  If the quality or quantity of your orgasms are an issue for you, practice rhythmic hip movement and watch the magic unfold!

*HEAL past Trauma! 
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that most women have been sexually "traumatized" in some way, at some point in their lives. I have heard so many heartbreaking stories, both personally and professionally, of sexual trauma over the years. Even if you have never been physically assaulted, there are other more subtle ways your sexuality can be injured.   Maybe you received negative messages about healthy sexuality during your formative years.  These messages can leave you feeling guilt and shame when expressing your sexuality as an adult. Maybe a lover made a negative comment that has lingered in your memory.  Maybe societal pressure to look a certain way has contributed to a negative body image. Having a negative body image can inhibit you from fully enjoying your sex life.  Perhaps you violated your own set of standards or crossed a sexual boundary of your own making.

If any of these scenarios rings true for you, I strongly encourage you to do whatever is necessary to heal.  You deserve a healthy and happy sex life!  The specific process for healing will be different for everyone's unique personality and situation.  Here are some ideas: read books on related topics, journal, meditate, and/or pray.  I would encourage you to talk to a therapist or life coach about your specific circumstance.  It's amazing what progress you can make when a non-judgmental trained person helps you sort through the static in your head. 

* Be ADVENTUROUS!  
On a much lighter note,  don't underestimate the value of going on an adventure.  This could mean just about anything as long as it feels adventurous to you.  Maybe traveling to an exotic local is your idea of an adventure, rock climbing, scuba diving, road tripping without a plan or a map, eating alone in a restaurant, asking an attractive stranger out on a date, trying a new activity.  It doesn't matter if it's big or small (its how you wiggle it). ;) How does having a sense of adventure effect ones sex life?  When you muster up the courage to do something that scares you, you feel empowered.  Empowered women (and men) have better sex because they aren't afraid to try new things and they don't wait for others to provide them pleasure.  They seek it out for themselves. Adventurous spirits are simply more interesting which will undoubtedly help you attract and/or sustain a relationship with a like minded person who will be ready to have adventures in and out of the bedroom!  

I hope you've enjoyed reading my take on how to enhance your sex life.  I'd love to hear your thoughts.  I welcome all respectful discussion.  Share with your friends and invite them to join the conversation too! :) 
Michele Young